I must admit that one thing that I’m struggling with in my first year of teaching is the admittedly unrealistic pressure I put on myself to be already great at teaching. I can’t help but feel that I already need to be experienced and confident in all aspects of the classroom, and don’t really cut myself enough slack to actually be learning how to do this.
I know that this is something that has always been an issue for me. I’ve never really allowed myself to not be good at something yet; if I wasn’t already good, then I would get frustrated and annoyed. It seems so silly when I write these words, but it’s unfortunately true.
I suppose to some extent it’s like getting into the kitchen for the first time and expecting to be the next MasterChef without first learning basic skills like how to peel a potato or chop an onion!
It seems to be a cliche, but I suppose that I just need to take it one step at a time. After all, how can I try and get my students to learn resilience and allow themselves to fail and make mistakes when I can’t even abide that in myself? I know that I’m already getting much better and becoming a much more effective teacher – I’ve just got to get past this idea of needing be an instant expert!